It's been a while since my last blog. I have tried to stay busy with life and during the day light hours I seem to be on the right course. But when the sun is warming the other side of the earth my thoughts are filled with worry and doom. Cancer changed me and my world in every way. When I learned I had cancer I knew it would be a burden to my family but I didn't understand how much of a burden it would be on me. I am a different person with a different body. This body of mine failed me and I am trying to make peace with it but there is no guide or manual. And I don't want to mess up again.